Rio. 3D

A kid's flick that is neither from Pixar nor DreamWorks.

Yeah, okay, it's adorable. But only because I want to have my honeymoon in Rio de Janeiro.

In time for this, of course.

I expected to see a lot of football referenced in this movie, but I can only remember three instances.

• When the crooks were watching a football game on TV;
• When someone kicked a football on the beach during one of the chase sequences; and
• When we see footballs just lying around in the background.

Well of course, this film was made by Americans, so you shouldn't really expect to see a lot of football here. I've never been to Brazil (yet), but I think Brazil is known for football, hot chicks, mixed martial arts, and Blanka from Street Fighter. Oh, and yes, the Carnaval. But they did have that here.

One of the trippiest festivals on Earth.

Also, here's the reason why you should never, ever watch an animated flick because of the voice actors:

Blu: Jesse Eisenberg

Jesse Eisenberg is a dork. Who speaks in a dorky voice. Which made this bird a total dork.

Jewel: Anne Hathaway

Still sounds like Anne Hathaway. But at least she can sing.

Luiz: Tracy Morgan

This slobbering mutt is possibly the cutest character here, and because he's voiced by Tracy Morgan, he definitely becomes the cutest character here.

Rafael: George Lopez

If you don't know who George Lopez is, he's that dark Latino guy from Valentine's Day and Balls of Fury. And he sounds exactly as he looks.

Pedro: will.i.am

You can't miss will.i.am's voice. It's the same annoying quality as his Black-Eyed Peas songs. And I also don't know why he's become like e.e. cummings with his lower-case name.

Nico: Jamie Foxx

Aahh. Jamie Foxx's golden voice cancels everything bad about will.i.am.

Tulio: Rodrigo Santoro

Sorry, girls. No sexy Rodrigo Santoro here. Just a skinny Brazilian geek named Tulio.

Okay, before we move on to the 3D review, here's a breather:

Who wouldn't want to tap that ass in 3D?

Now, on to the 3D review.

Again, it's a CG-flick, which means the 3D is, more often than not, quite decent. However, I would just like to discuss the thing known as "the window".

When viewing a 3D pic, the screen is supposed to be like a window. You know those face masks that welders use? With just a rectangular opening where the eyes should be?

For those too lazy to google.

That is basically how one views a 3D film. As if you're watching the scene from inside a welder's mask.

But in this movie, they tried something with the birds' beaks. Like this shot, for instance.

Notice Rafael's beak. In the 3D version, that beak extends out of the screen plane, and into the audience's faces. Of course, that's a great stereoscopic effect, don't get me wrong. But it's not natural. How would you feel if you were watching some birds through a welder's mask, and a toucan was poking its beak into your eye-hole? You'd swat it away, of course.

That's the thing with stereo images. They don't always have to be popping out of the screen plane. Sometimes it's better to just let it go way deeper inward rather than outward.

So that's that. Can't believe I exerted this much effort for a movie I didn't even like that much. Like when I hear the word "Rio", I'll still always think of that Duran Duran song.


*some info from IMDb
pic from Toy in 3D, FIFA, Simply Wallpaper here and here, All Movie Photos, BSC Kids, Online Movies Hut, Rio official site, Stardust Trailers, movies.ycpics.com, Smithsonian Legacies, and 80 Million Movies Free


Rio. USA. 2011.


Rating: Five out of ten.
3D-ness: Six out of ten.