T2

I was making a review about this movie involving engkanto(s?) when the computer malfunctioned and started popping out continuous Internet Explorer windows. That itself is freakier than the ending of the movie.

Anyway, as I was saying before the engkantos intervened with their magic powers to make me paranoid:

"We suck with CGI okay? I mean, creatively we don't but yeah, technically, we suck big time. So stop using it, please? I mean, okay, use it, but to a minimum extent. To that minimum that it won't fuck up the film. But then, I guess that's not the only problem T2 carries."

There. Where was I? Oh, got it. I was first going to complain about the ending. (This is why I love reviewing; it's one of those things where it's not really that annoying to complain, I guess, unless I'm the big company who produced another sucky film. Haha.) The ending was so out of place. I mean, you knew it was coming, this...out of place-ness. But you'd still think it was out of place. And still be pissed. Because the middle parts of the movie were actually good. It was actually scary. I kept covering my face and bashing my movie buddy's poor shoulder in the theater, because I just knew that I wouldn't be able to sleep that night. The movie used the old folklores really well. It was as if I was a child again, listening to my yaya tell me never to look back when someone calls "pssst" because yep, mumu. I also have to mention that fantastic scene where men in suits glided through hallways leading Maricel Soriano in the child's room. Classic fun. It reminded me of The Gentlemen in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Because, really, silence and gliding creatures are the cornerstones of an effective horror flick.

But everything goes wrong when, as my movie buddy aptly called it, magic lampara appeared to save the day. Really. There was also this thing with a giant baboy ramo in the building, transforming into a golem-like creature sticking on ceilings (probably a tuko?) but magic lampara saved the day so he flew away looking now like that first Big Bad you have to kill in House of the Dead II. This is how good T2 is, I tend to reminisce better experiences.

The problem with the Philippine horror genre is at the end, it forgets it was supposed to be scary. This also happened with Judy Ann Santos' Kulam. There was a funny safeguard moment in the end, I swear. Now with T2, it was as if Chito Rono insisted that he jabs his television series Spirits right up to the last moment which I'm sorry, I really have to emphasize---out of place. At the end, I was scratching my head saying, "Shet, Star Wars!" Star Trek, or something. The engkanto's paradise looked like a rip-off from a sci-fi/fantasy flick and the way Maricel Soriano escaped from it reminded me of The Mummy. But for me, it officially sucked (because I can be stubborn, I mean, we paid for that movie, it should be good!) when there was this whole narrated flashback scene to explain everything (but the plotholes prevented that). The only good thing though, John Lloyd was in that flashback scene. This is the part where I go "Eeeeeeeee!"

Also, Eric Fructuoso! The only other good thing about the movie! Other than that, you'd get an annoying kid that should be doing, or she might probably have done already, Nido commercials.

The movie stars Maricel Soriano as Claire who couldn't get pregnant, so her husband for an asshole is breaking up with her. She is a social volunteer of some kind who ends up with a "mission" to take orphaned Nido kid to new parents in Tenement 2 (hence, the so creative title). It wouldn't take brains to figure out engkantos follow Nido kid because Nido kid's mom is an engkanto.

Sorry, another spoiler. When my reviews start being a rant blog, I tend to, well, rant. And spoil. But you can still watch it. There are other what-the-fuck moments left to list down. It'd be fun to compare.

3/10