Entourage. Season 1, Episode 5: The Script and the Sherpa

The body vs. the soul. The carnal vs. the spiritual. Meat eaters vs. vegans. Tantra vs. marijuana. Sex vs. drugs. Or sex and drugs. And that, my friends, is Hollywood. My personal holy grail.


*some info and pic from HBO

Entourage. Season 1, Episode 4: Date Night

Single date turns into quadruple trouble. Well, not for Eric, who gets Ari's hot assistant Emily. And also Vince, who gets the I'm-still-über-hot-as-a-blonde Leighton Meester. Too bad for Drama, who gets the bodybuilder, and Turtle, who gets the psycho.


*some info and pic from HBO

Entourage. Season 1, Episode 3: Talk Show

Entourage does Jimmy Kimmel. Sorry, that's Vince Chase does Jimmy Kimmel. Only problem is, I've never watched a single Jimmy Kimmel show. Also hooray for cameos by Sara Foster, and Sarah Silverman, who like I said looks like a Caucasian Karen Mok.


*some info and pic from HBO

Apocalypse: The Second World War. 1/6 Agression

For those who love World War II, this is an early Christmas gift. To see war footage in full color, when they were formerly in black-and-white...now that is what I call true eye candy.


*pic from ngcasia.com

Brüno

If Borat was so 2006, does that mean that Brüno is so 2009?

No. Because Brüno is light years ahead. In terms of subject matter, that is. Brüno wanders into taboo that will probably remain taboo for another hundred years.

Brüno follows the same structure as Borat, but the only problem is, Borat's structure was more defined, more solid. Brüno also has an assistant, by the name of Lutz, who does exactly what Azamat Bagatov did for Borat. But Lutz is less funny. Like way less.

Another problem with Brüno is that it is too short. The entire film only clocks in at less than ninety minutes. And that I believe is not enough to tell a decent story. Yes, we may get a lot of gags, but this is still a narrative, ladies and gentlemen, and so must still conform to a narrative structure. Or at least a semblance of it.

Brüno also fails to deliver the same gag quality as the television episodes it was based on. Unlike Borat, which captured the television essence dead-on, Brüno seems to only show us the tip of the iceberg. Some of the funniest Brüno antics, like making people change their opinion with the snap of a finger, were missing from the movie. But his other gags were magnified to laugh-out-loud proportions. Yet still, that wasn't enough to compensate for what the real Brüno fans were waiting for.

And finally, you know you're not gay when you watch Brüno and you still feel sick. Yes it is funny, even stomach-cramping hilarious. But it still is nauseating.


*some info from IMDb
pic from telegraph.co.uk


Brüno. USA. 2009.


Rating: Six and a half out of ten.

Entourage. Season One, Episode 2: The Review

The Rolls Royce salesman was Deep Roy, who played the Oompa Loompas in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. And the girl who gave Vince Chase a hi-hello kiss on the lips was Jessica Alba. I hate you Vince Chase.


*some info and pic from HBO

Entourage. Season One, Episode 1: Entourage

Hooray for the Hollywood lifestyle, which is the lifestyle I've always dreamed of. There's something about HBO shows...they're always damn good. And Kevin Dillon is now my favorite Entourage character.


*some info and pic from HBO

Movie Icons: Patrick Swayze

Patrick Swayze may not be an Oscar winner. He may not have at least one movie a year. And his movies may not be considered box office hits. But he still managed to make his name synonymous with dirty dancing.

Patrick Swayze is like a Brazilian superstar. You could call him by just one name: Swayze. You can drop the "Patrick", they'll know who you mean anyway.

I also believe Swayze was one of the first male actors who didn't mind doing what was previously considered "soft," like dancing. And not just dancing like hip-hop dancing; I mean dancing like he's-too-smooth-to-dance-like-that-he's-probably-gay dancing. And that was already a big thing back then. So hooray to Swayze for helping push the gender role stereotype envelope.

And what can I say about Patrick Swayze? Mr. Swayze, you have a very beautiful face. When you were younger, it looked like it was computer-generated, even when modern CGI technology didn't exist in the 80s. And when you were older, your face looked like it was carved out of wood. Like a beautiful wooden statue.


Patrick Swayze. 1952-2009.


*pic from thesebootsaremadeforstalking.com

Kill Bill Vol. 1

Okay, the color for today is yellow.

But seriously, that's just Tarantino's homage to the great martial arts icon, Bruce Lee. You have Uma Thurman in a yellow track suit, I mean, come on.

And this entire film is one big homage to the kung fu shows of the seventies, like the ones that starred David Carradine, who incidentally also stars here as the main villain, Bill. But we don't get to see his face yet. Just his voice.

Vol. 1 is of course the "girl on girl" action flick, since the two assassins that the Bride slaughters are female. Director Quentin Tarantino also makes sure that the Bride remains unnamed, putting in bleeps when her character's name is mentioned. Anyway, so the Bride kills Vivica A. Fox and Lucy Liu. She also gets to cut off Sofie Fatale's arm, and kill the pretty Gogo Yubari. But she doesn't kill Bill. Yet.

Great work on the music, by the way, as the original music score was done byt the Rza. I think Tarantino got the Rza on board after listening to the Wu-Tang Clan and their love for everything Eastern. Anyway, I don't know how much of the soundtrack was original music, and how much was simply remixed, but the Rza got the kung-fu mood dead on.

Tarantino's sets are spectacular, by the way. Especially that last fight with O-Ren Ishii. White and yellow plus light snowfall equals win. But the way the top of O-Ren's head got sliced off--disgusting. Reminded me too much of Hannibal.

I only have one problem though, and that is the editing. Especially during the fights. There were some cuts that just didn't feel right. Well, to pull off a well-edited fight scene requires storyboarding, and from what I remember about Tarantino, I think he storyboards in his head instead of on paper. I'm not really sure though, I might have forgotten.

So that, ladies and gentlemen, is Vol. 1. Tune in next week for Vol. 2. Same time, same station. Well, maybe not next week, as I still have to get a copy of it.


*some info from IMDb
pic from moviesfilmsmotionpictures.wordpress.com


Kill Bill Vol. 1. USA. 2003.


Rating: Seven out of ten.

De laatste zomer (The Last Summer)

Hooray for simple films that have no need for special effects. And also hooray for the European Union's eleven-year Cine Europa.

Well, it's quite easy really to pull off a good film sans special effects. You only need two things: 1) a great script; and 2) great actors. 

I don't know exactly what genre this film falls under, since I do not believe in genres anyway. Well it's basically a teen movie which discusses teen concerns. Like falling in love, dating, first kiss, first fuck. Et cetera, et cetera. 

See the kids in the picture? They're the stars of this film. So it's sort of like American Pie, only the humor is way subdued. In fact, I don't think this film is a comedy at all. Yes there are a lot of humorous moments. But that's about it. It's the drama that stands out. So I guess this film is a drama. And I just said I don't believe in genres. 

And again, see those kids? They're all really good actors. They represent the typical teenage set, all males obviously, with typical teenage problems and typical teenage angst. And the one thing they have in common: typical teenage libido. Of course it doesn't help one bit that the girl involved is sizzling hot. 

Hooray for Belgian cinema, for telling really simple stories, for not needing special effects, and for showing a lot of marijuana use without making the kids look like addicts. 

*some info from IMDb 

pic from cinebel.be 

De laatste Zomer (The Last Summer). Belgium. 2007.  

Rating: Seven out of ten. 

Happy Birthday Claire!

This is what you call a "Chaka Moment".

First of all, Claire shares her birthday with the Virgin Mary. Which is also why her full name is Mary Anne Claire. But their similarity ends there. Just the birthday, and the first name, but none of those other virtues, like chastity, and piety, and all that jazz.

And if this was a workplace, this post would be like the birthday cake that your officemates would buy for you, and they'd surprise you when you get to work, and then you'd feel touched and want to cry, but even before lunchtime your cake would be reduced to crumbs, without you getting to taste it.

Claire is a little bit busy now with her thesis, dissecting that controversial blog called Hay! Men!, so she doesn't review as much (yet she still found time to pioneer the microreview). But Claire still is one of the funniest writers I have ever come across, in both English and Filipino.

And again, Happy Birthday Claire, and may you graduate soon, so that you can move on to greater things. Like reviewing films. Hahaha.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 14: Defenders of Peace

"When surrounded by war, one must eventually choose a side."


This episode has lots of cool, real Star Wars moments, meaning flying starships and all, but it is cancelled out by those annoying little monkey-like creatures. Okay, so they can fight. But they're not cute. At least the Ewoks can fight and be cute at the same time.


*some info and pic from starwars.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 13: Jedi Crash

"Greed and fear of loss are the roots that lead to the tree of evil."


Okay, officially, my favorite Jedi is now Master Aayla Secura. She is like the hottest female Jedi. Ever. I don't even care if she has blue skin. I mean, inter-species love is possible, right?


*some info from starwars.com
pic from bigshinyrobot.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 12: The Gungan General

"Fail with honor rather than succeed by fraud."


Sorry, it didn't redeem itself in the second part. The Obi-Wan-Anakin tandem is still BORING. And Jar Jar Binks is still the worst deus ex machina. Trying to take out several tanks without firing a single shot? Use Jar Jar.


*some info from starwars.com
pic from movies.sky.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 11: Dooku Captured

"The winding path to peace is always a worthy one, regardless of how many turns it takes."


This is another Kenobi-Skywalker tandem. Which means BORING. If I wanted to watch Obi and Ani, I should have just watched Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith. But this episode has a sequel, so hopefully it redeems itself by the second part.


*some info and pic from starwars.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 10: Lair of Grievous

"Most powerful is he who controls his own power."


Okay, just because Kit Fisto's tentacles look like dreadlocks doesn't mean he should talk like a Jamaican. Too bad about the other Jedi Knight, though. It's the first time I've seen someone from Admiral Ackbar's race wield a lightsaber.


*some info from starwars.com
pic from bigshinyrobot.com

District 9

This is a great movie, simply because it's not Hollywood.

1. The actors were all unkown. Unknown, but great. Especially the hero Wikus. What a great casting job.
2. I love the excellent seamless blend of reality TV and fiction. The reality TV part was amazing, and well-executed, as even the look and feel was that of a fake documentary. And of course, none of this would've worked well if it wasn't for the excellent acting. You have to be a great actor to pull off a fake documentary. Did I just make sense?
3. Special Effects=Win. Those prawns were successfully disgusting and cute at the same time. That kid prawn was really cute. But the alien dialogue was so...icky...that it made my hair stand on end.
4. This movie is not for the weak of stomach, nor the faint of heart. It's gross, with a capital G. First you have fingernails coming off. Then you have the super-realistic make-up. It's just so gross, I'm sorry.

Contrary to what I originally thought, District 9 was not directed by Peter Jackson. He merely produced it. So the next time someone asks, do not say that Peter Jackson directed District 9. Because he didn't. The credit should go to Neill Blomkamp, who I predict will soon be playing with the Hollywood bigwigs.


*some info from IMDb
pic from screenrant.com


District 9. USA. 2009.


Rating: Eight out of ten.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 9: Cloak of Darkness

"Ignore your instincts at your own peril."


Whoever said that female Jedi are not cool? Well, they are. What a great lightsaber duel between two females, Master Luminara Unduli and Dooku's apprentice Assaj Ventress. And Ahsoka shows us that she really is Skywalker's Padawan.


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from starwars.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 8: Bombad Jedi

"Heroes are made by the times."


Two things:

1. This is my first ever glimpse of Rodia (like Greedo the Rodian's home planet).
2. Jar Jar Binks is still the stupidest character in the Star Wars universe. Ever.

*some info from Wikipedia
pic from tv.ign.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 7: Duel of the Droids

"You hold onto friends by keeping your heart a little softer than your head."


Just how valuable is an R2 astromech unit? Worth risking the lives of a Padawan and a few soldiers, that's how much. And again, will you please stop using electronica? Thanks.


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from clonewarsinsider.webs.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 6: Downfall of a Droid

"Trust in your friends, and they'll have reason to trust in you."


Okay, so they might say it's because the theme of this episode is droids (specifically, missing astromechs), but I'm sorry, using electronica in Star Wars = FAIL. Only an orchestra can evoke the feelings of the grand space opera that this is.


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from starwars.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 5: Rookies

"The best confidence builder is experience."


This is it. This is what George Lucas meant when he said The Clone Wars would be like Band of Brothers, only in outer space. Of course half an hour isn't enough for characterization, but it's a start at best.


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from clonewarsinsider.webs.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 4: Destroy Malevolence

"A plan is only as good as those who see it through."


If you've been wondering what Malevolence is, it's the name of a ship. General Grievous' ship. We also have the first romantic moment in the series. And I just can't help but notice that Padmé here looks like Lara Croft. Ooh.


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from starwarsilike.blogspot.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 3: Shadow of Malevolence

"Easy is the path to wisdom for those not blinded by themselves."


What makes Star Wars...well, Star Wars, is not the lightsabers and the aliens, but all the outer space flying, like what they did when they took down the Death Stars.


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from taringa.net

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 2: Rising Malevolence

"Belief is not a matter of choice, but of conviction."


Master Plo Koon in action. Now how cool is that? Okay, so Anakin gets to show off his flying skills again, but still, Plo Koon in action is win. And he has a nice voice.


(Okay, scrap the 160-character limit. Microreviews are short. Period. More or less 200 characters. But this shouldn't limit my expression. I'll just remember to keep. it. short.)


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from wearemoviegeeks.com