Wait 'Til You're Older

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This movie has a fluffy fairytale-like mood in the real world, about a bratty kid always running away from home because he hates his dad and his stepmom's guts. He believes that his mom died because his dad had an affair with his now-stepmom. Therefore, he wants to be an adult so that he doesn't have to be brought home each time he runs away.

This bratty kid is so bratty he borderlines evil. I know I should be more sensitive to these kinds of domestic dilemmas, especially sensitive to kids, but it's a good thing I don't have the innate tendency to go awww over kids (I'm choosy). I too came from a dysfunctional family (sometimes really, who doesn't?) but I don't wave that around as an excuse for being a major brat. And I realized this back when I was freaking seven years old. Every time I see the evil bratty kid, I want to throw tomatoes at him. I mean, it's so understandable that Karen Mok (the stepmom) eventually blew up and kicked bratty kid out of the house. There stupid one, you don't have to run away. You're kicked out! Ha!

I would have done that from the very start--he's not my kid anyway. Yez, I are evil. Furthermore, it's Karen Mok. This bratty kid is attacking my Karen Mok (okay, and Stinglacson's Karen Mok too). I shall cleanse the world of all brats for her, with a song in my heart while I'm doing it.

So anywho, the brat wanders around the park at night and sees this huge tree. This huge tree is special because it wasn't in the park in the earlier scenes of the movie. A wise old creepy man, doing what wise old creepy men do best, crept from behind the brat and said in his wise old voice, "Ah, yes. Huge tree. I am so great. You saw me earlier in this movie playing with my little test tube of potion. And now, there's a huge tree in the park. Because of my potion I dropped onto the little plant. And because I'm great. And weird. See my quirky glasses and fake beard? That indicates my weirdness but the kind that's supposed to be endearing. But if my beard is fake, then am I really that old? Screw it, I'm still wise. I made the potion, didn't I? Now I'm just going to wave it in front of your face and... why no! You can't have any of it! Whatever you do, don't ever, ever steal my potion."

The brat (of course) eventually steals the potion, runs away, trips and wounds himself. The magic potion seeps into his wound. He falls asleep at the park and when he wakes up, he's now Andy Lau. Talk about improvement.

If my imaginary audience already thinks that I do spoilers more than I should, my imaginary audience better skip this one fast. Quick, click that X button.

For those who are risky enough, let us proceed and watch a movie with Andy Lau in it. With so many movies he starred in, is Wait 'Til You're Older worth the time? Well, yes, if you want to see Andy Lau in a childlike state learning about adulthood, relationships, life, which is not just über-ly cute but pleasantly believable as well. Also, I believe it's worth watching because Andy Lau dies.

He. Freaking. Dies.

Horray!

I mean really, I didn't see that one coming. I think that knowing that he dies is the most important thing to make me watch this movie. This is no stupid 13 Going on 30. There's literally no going back. In films like 13 Going on 30, once the children learned their lessons well, everything can go back to the way they were. Giving them their magical second chance. In Wait 'Til You're Older, fuck off, second chance. Not only does he not turn back into bratty kid, Andy Lau's aging is continuous and lethally quicker.

The fluffiness and mushy fairytale-like mood suddenly weighs heavier in the last act of the movie. Which is both its strength, and what-the-fuck-did-just-happen mode. Suddenly, there's all this lecture on waiting, families, living life to the fullest. Too much. It makes the audience duck from all the moral lesson-giveaway. But since there are other smart, funny moments, twists, and complications in this movie, pretty setting and make-up (oh wow, look at old Andy Lau!), the moral lessons are worth bearing. I almost cried when Karen Mok and Andy Lau finally had their final confrontation on the branch of a tree overlooking their house. Almost.

6/10