Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant

Surprisingly good for a B-Movie.

Well, I don't know if this was a B-Movie, because it had an A-List cast. Maybe it was an A-Movie trying to look like a B-Movie, because the story deserved a B-Movie treatment. And anyway, everybody loves vampires.

This is apparently based again on a series of books. Like Percy Jackson and the Olympians. Again, I mourn the lack of original cinematic material, but this movie was well-made enough to make me want to watch the sequels, if any.

The lead guy, Chris Massoglia, looked like a girl. He'd probably be hot if he was a girl.

John C. Reilly is one of my favorites. He's a great actor. I don't even have to explain anymore.

A bearded Salam Hayek just makes me shudder in disgust. Freak.

Ken Watanabe is so cute. Haha.

Willem Dafoe didn't spend enough screen time. I wish they gave him some action scenes. But I don't think he'd be capable of any decent action sequences at his age.

And Ray Stevenson was so great, he was almost unnoticeable. He almost slipped away unnoticed. This just goes to show how versatile Stevenson can be. Therefore, give him more movies.


*some info from IMDb
pic from mywifemademewatchthis.wordpress.com


Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant. USA. 2009.


Rating: Seven out of ten.

Apocalypse: The Second World War. 5/6 The Great Landings

Great sequence on the Warsaw ghetto, and chronicling its degeneration. Sad, really. Okay, so the title says "The Great Landings". I thought they were referring to the Allied Normandy landings. Yet they didn't show any of that here. They were probably referring to the Allied landings in the Mediterranean. Well, if D-Day isn't here, then it's bound to be in the last episode.


*pic from Rapid Share Index

The Pacific. Part Eight

Okay, three-fourths of this episode was boring, because it was set, again, outside the war zone. But it does make up for it because it showed how John Basilone met, fell in love with, wooed, and married his wife. It didn't suck too much because Mrs. Basilone was pretty. They also showed some basic training scenes, which I find kind of strange that the filmmakers placed it toward the end of the series. The other one-fourth of the episode was set in Iwo Jima, another Pacific island that looks like Mordor.


*pic from channelguidemag.com

Glee. Season 1, Episode 20: Theatricality

source: http://gleeks.tumblr.com

It actually surprised me that all the girls in Glee cannot come to par with the original version featuring solo Lady Gaga. I say that and I'm not even a Lady Gaga fanatic. They looked like high schoolers dancing in a lousy high school auditorium. Oh, wait. They are. Anyhow, Idina Menzel and mini-Idina Menzel's version of "Poker Face" on the other hand was so enthralling. Song numbers aside, this episode was so fragmented, I was having a hard time figuring out what it wants to focus on. And I still hate the we're-all-so-happy laugh in the end. Yuck. However, this episode also holds the gem that is Kurt's dad. I can't believe Glee made me cry. Kurt's dad should be given the BEST FATHER AWARD. How the biological mother story ended should also be given five stars credit. As well as the good pianist joke. Glee should realize it should stick to its surreality to be a good show.

The Vampire Diaries. Season 1, Episode 22: Founder's Day

I chose this picture because Damon gets to hold Elena's hand. Haha. I cannot stress how good this episode is. These are my status messages in Facebook and Plurk while I was watching the season finale of The Vampire Diaries:

• papanoorin ang season finale ng Vampire Diaries. Kinakabahan. Sana hindi pangit.
• vampire diaries season finale seems promising
• VAMPIRE DIARIES. YOU KILLED HER.
• OHMYGOD. THEY KILLED HER. THEY KILLED HER. DAMN YOU VAMPIRE DIARIES. I'M EXPERIENCING ANOTHER TARA'S DEATH MOMENT. *mourns sobs mourns* :'(
• I believe that's the hottest kiss on the cheek I've ever seen in the history of television. Wait. Hottest kiss on the cheek EVER. Thank you, Damon, for bringing something new in my life. And thank you Vampire Diaries, that was a good way to say "See you on soon. " All with a proper bow followed by that flirty wink. I love it when everything comes full circle but leaves me wanting with a cliff hanger at the same time.
  

Rome. Season 1, Episode 4: Stealing From Saturn

The guy who played Quintus, Pompey's son, was the one who played 1st Lt. Harry Welsh in Band of Brothers. Small world? No, it's HBO. Plus, some people didn't know that Caesar had epilepsy. Anyway, I'd like to find out if the affair between Servilla and Caesar was historically accurate.


*some info from IMDb
pic from HBO

The Pacific. Part Seven

Great action sequences. But this has got to be the crappiest, ugliest war zone I've seen. It's all rocks, and dead trees. It looks like the land of Mordor, where the shadows lie. And John Basilone is still in the States, selling war bonds.


*pic from HBO

Rome. Season 1, Episode 3: An Owl in a Thornbush

I don't even know what the title's connection to the story is. There was no owl. And there was no thornbush. But there was fleeing. Pompey flees. Caesar takes Rome. Without bloodshed. And Atia is still the bitchiest woman in the ancient world.


*pic from HBO

Rome. Season 1, Episode 2: How Titus Pullo Brought Down the Republic

Well, just as the title says. I shouldn't even be explaining this show to you. You should just go and watch it. A show as beautiful as this cannot be explained with words. And we finally meet Lucius Vorenus' slutty wife. Okay, she's not slutty, because she thought he was dead. But still.


*pic from HBO

Rome. Season 1, Episode 1: The Stolen Eagle

Hooray for HBO. Big-budget HBO productions are always win. And hooray for Ciáran Hinds, for looking like Gaius Julius Caesar. Of course, no one really knows how Caesar looked like. But I'm pretty sure he looked like Ciáran Hinds.


*pic from hboasia.com

The Pacific. Part Six

Good thing the boys are still on Peleliu Island. This means action. Too bad about their thirst problem though. And I'm already starting to like the annoying guy with buggy eyes. I used to hate him because of his drawl. But I felt sorry for him here.


*pic from daemonstv.com

Shrek Forever After. 3D

Now I can safely say that computer-animated films always look great on 3D. Always. Computer-animated flicks do not have the problem of 2D to 3D conversion. It has something to do with the rendering. I'm not going to expound, as it may all be meaningless technical jargon to the non-filmmakers.

Anyway, we go first to the 3D-ness of this film. I mentioned in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs about deep focus lenses and what not. Apparently, this is only practical for 3D films that were intended solely for a 3D release, like U2 3D. I forgot that Hollywood is a money-making machine, so that means 3D releases have 2D equivalents, except in very rare instances. So since deep focus lenses would look...un-artistic...in 2D, then I say fine, don't use deep focus lenses.

They did use dissolves here, but they were too short in my opinion. The minimum dissolve length should be five seconds. That's from an editor's point of view.

Now, on to the regular review.

Shrek Forever After seems like the final installment for the franchise. Well I do hope so. The end credits had a "the best of Shrek" kind of theme. And I hope they don't do a Disney and extend the franchise to home video releases.

Same old, same old. Same use of pop songs. Same annoying voice of Eddie Murphy. Same annoying Scottish accent of Mike Myers. Same allusions to classic fairy tales.

But it did give us something new though. First is the Pied Piper. I think he's the coolest villain in the Shrek franchise, even if he got very little screen time, and no dialogue at all (of course, his character doesn't talk). Second is Jane Lynch as one of the voices. And third is Antonio Banderas singing Bob Marley's "One Love".


*some info from IMDb
pic from celebritywonder.com


Shrek Forever After. USA. 2010.


Rating: Six and a half out of ten.
3D-ness: Eight out of ten.
Antonio Banderas singing "One Love": Nine out of ten.

Glee. Season 1, Episode 19: Dream On

I think they sold this episode to Joss Whedon saying, "Hey Joss, we have an effective depressing episode lined up, want to direct it?" Basically, even though Whedon supposedly said he didn't want any Whedon-mark in this Glee episode, his fans can pinpoint which scenes he was improving since I hate to admit it, some of the scenes were boring. Neil Patrick Harris trumped every cast as expected. I wish I can listen to his voice all day (wait, I kind of do have Dr. Horrible on repeat mode). Also, I just want to point out I'm kind of liking Quinn's role much better. I think she shines best when the show doesn't focus so much on her.

Glee. Season 1, Episode 18: Laryngitis

image source: http://gleeks.tumblr.com

Momentum of what Glee should be is kept up. Still preachy and lacks some character continuation here and there, but at least developing towards uncrappy television entertainment. Puck maintains to have the cutest funniest monologues, not to mention the cutest one with a hat. Kurt gives the most powerful solo in the whole show and I finally got the proper "I'm gay." confrontation that the show lacked in the earlier half of the season. Overall, a very munchy episode.

Glee. Season 1, Episode 17: Bad Reputation

Glee in what Glee should be. Campy. And fun. And Sue Sylvester singing "Let's Get Physical".

Glee. Season 1, Episode 16: Home

image source: http://gleeks.tumblr.com

Kristin Chenoweth. Bow.

The Pacific. Part Five

You'ld've thought this episode would suck. It started out with John "Manila" Basilone back in the States, selling war bonds, and having sex. Again, any scene outside the war scene is boring. But it did make up for it, by showing the Peleliu landing in the second half of the episode. Possibly the best battle scene in the series. So far.


*pic from avclub.com

Losing Your 3D Virginity

Q: Can I take my five year-old boy to watch Shrek 3D?

A: It's up to you. You're the parent.

Q: No, I mean, what is your expert opinion?

A: Wow, I'm flattered that you would think me an expert in 3D. Hehe. But I'm not. But I hope to be, if becoming one means getting an MTRCB Deputy card.

Anyway, if it were up to me...no.

Q: Why not?

A: Well, the primary question you have to answer is, "What makes Real D 3D a mind-blowing experience? The answer: It makes viewing more realistic by adding depth to flat, two-dimensional moving pictures. That doesn't mean that pictures don't have depth. They do. Check out this picture:

Now this picture may be two-dimensional, but it has depth. Maybe implied depth, but it does have it. That's because the viewer (you) knows that Puss is nearer to the camera, while Shrek is placed farther from the camera. In simpler terms, you have a sense of foreground, middleground, and background. And that is enough to create depth in the viewer's mind.

Real D 3D, however, creates depth not in the viewer's mind, but on the image itself, as projected onscreen. Your mind no longer processes or simulates depth from the information it receives, because it is already given depth at the onset. Depth is in fact being spoon-fed to you.

Now to your child, all of this matters not. To him, a regular movie and a 3D movie are the same. Yes, he may sense something different with the viewing, but that's about as far as it'll go. Because to your child, the movie in his head is more realistic than any Real D 3D flick. All he needs is a stimulus.

When your kid watches a movie, he sees it in his head as 4D, or 5D even. To him, even the smell of the place is there. And even emotion. When a monster screams, the kid cringes. Because to him, the monster is real. And movie monsters are real enough to follow the kid all the way to his nightmares.

This seemingly magical trait is present in everybody, even adults, but only a select few can bring them out again. But this trait is present in all children. Real D 3D, I believe, was created for adults specifically to force this magical trait out of the adult system, buried under years of stress, problems, and earthly concerns. Now as long as your child still has this magical trait coming out of him naturally, you don't need to bring him to a 3D movie for him to have a 3D experience. You can just take him to a 2D movie, and he will have a 5D experience.

But again, you're the parent, so it's up to you.


*also published in Ask the Shaman
pic from cinemablend.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 18: Mystery of a Thousand Moons

"A single chance is a galaxy of hope."


You would've thought that the previous episode was the last you've seen of this blue virus. And as promised, this series takes us to the rarest worlds of the Star Wars universe, even those only mentioned in passing. Here we visit Iego, which was mentioned in The Phantom Menace as the world where angels live. And true enough, we also catch a glimpse of an angel here.


*pic from starwars.com

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 17: Blue Shadow Virus

"Fear is a disease; hope is its only cure."


Yay, Padmé is back. Plus Ahsoka. And they also showed a glimpse of the queen of Naboo. Plus, they also showed those big fat Naboo cows dying one by one. Hilarious. Jar Jar Binks, however, is not hilarious. His voice doesn't even sound like Ahmed Best. Boo.


*pic from starwars.com

The Pacific. Part Four

Okay, so there was some action in the first part. But the second part went kind of slow. You know why? Because they changed location. They followed Bob Leckie to the hospital, where he spent the rest of the episode. Hospitals = boring. Anywhere outside the war zone is boring.


*pic from HBO

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 16: The Hidden Enemy

"Truth enlightens the mind, but won't always bring happiness to your heart."


Double-crossing clones + old school fist fights with a dash of mixed martial arts + a great lightsaber battle between Skywalker, Kenobi, and Ventress = please show us more episodes like this. Thank you.


*some info and pic from starwars.com

Before the Legend: The Rise of Bob Marley

The great Robert Nesta Marley is known for three things: dreadlocks, ganja, and reggae. And you will find them all here in this book. Of course, it is reggae that gets the most coverage, because Bob Marley IS reggae.

If Bob Marley's life was the Star Wars saga, then his superstardom would be Episodes IV-VI. This book, however, would be the prequels, Episodes I-III. Author Christopher John Farley (that's right, his name rhymes with Marley) only chronicles Bob Marley's rise to international fame. For those of you who know nothing about Bob Marley the icon, then reading this book might just turn you on to his music. But for those of you who eat, drink, and breathe reggae music, this might disappoint you just a little bit. Just like how Darth Vader fans were disappointed with the Star Wars prequels.


*pic from harpercollins.com


Rating: Seven out of ten.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Episode 15: Trespass

"Arrogance diminishes wisdom."


Again, this has trademark Star Wars moments, which means battle scenes, battle scenes, and more battle scenes. And they feature the creatures known as the Talz, who I remember as four-eyed creatures from the Mos Eisley cantina in A New Hope.


*some info and pic from starwars.com

Robin Hood

This film reminded me of three different films: King Arthur, Braveheart, and of course, Gladiator.

King Arthur: Because Russell Crowe looked like Clive Owen. No, just kidding. Because this is a prequel. Kind of like how Arthur became King of Britain. Or how Anakin Skywalker became Darth Vader.

Braveheart: Because Russell Crowe looked like Mel Gibson. Kidding. Because this was set in England. And apparently, Braveheart's King Edward Longshanks was the grandson of King John, who was King Richard the Lionheart's brother.

Gladiator: Because Robin Hood looked like the Spaniard. I'm not kidding. And of course, because this was helmed by Ridley Scott, who also directed Gladiator.

I loved this film for seven different reasons: Ridley Scott + Russell Crowe + Cate Blanchett + Mark Strong + Malarkey from Band of Brothers + minimal use of CGI + a different take on the Robin Hood legend.


*some info from Wikipedia and IMDb
pic from allmoviephoto.com


Robin Hood. USA/UK. 2010.


Rating: Seven out of ten.
Scott Free animation at the end credits: Eight out of ten.

The Vampire Diaries. Season 1, Episode 21: Isobel

image source: http://www.dreadcentral.com/news/37000/the-vampire-diaries-episode-21-stills-and-brief-synopsis

Elena's real mother is annoying. She's hot but she's annoying. All this turning off humanity (which is equivalent to guilt) shit is really annoying but understandable. If I'm going to make a critical paper out of it, I'll probably say that vampires try so hard to convince themselves about this humanity on-and-off button because they're quite confused about their power. Hey, just like humans. Anyhow, more Delena love here and I'm assured of future Jeremy/Anna scenes (where Jeremy is yet to be a vampire-hating hunter) so I'm quite happy.

Crazy Heart

Rock stars and single moms. Sounds familiar. Hehe.

Great movie. Better than expected, actually. But the title sounds like the name of a Native American chief. Or a Care Bear.

I admit, I'm not really a fan of country music. The only country artists I know are Garth Brooks and Shania Twain, and Shania only because she is hot. But watching this movie changed my attitude towards country music. I guess I'll give country music a chance to seduce my ears. And I'll be starting with this film's soundtrack. This film's theme song, by the way, won an Oscar for Best Original Song last year.

Another Oscar award this film took home was for Best Actor. And if you think Jeff Bridges didn't deserve the award, you probably haven't even seen the film.

Maggie Gyllenhaal was perfect as a single mom. She got the emotions down pat, especially in the scene where Jeff Bridges lost her little boy. Okay, I won't say anymore. Some people hate spoilers.

Colin Farrell may not have gotten enough screen time, but what the hell. He sings and plays the guitar. That's a sight that'll make panties drop.

And finally, Robert Duvall is hilarious as an old timer. Well, he really is an old timer in real life. And don't get me wrong, this isn't a comedy. Robert Duvall just delivers his old timer lines damn good.

All in all, a really great movie from writer-director Scott Cooper. And this is why I love auteurs.


*some info from IMDb
pic from bluemoviereviews.wordpress.com


Crazy Heart. USA. 2009.


Rating: Eight and a half out of ten.
Jeff Bridges' acting: Nine out of ten.
Colin Farrell's guitar playing and singing: Eight point eight out of ten.
Robert Duvall's acting: Nine out of ten.

Carnivàle. Season One, Episode 2: After the Ball is Over

Wow, this series is getting creepier by the minute. Dark and edgy. And can I just say that pedophilia (young boys at that) makes my stomach turn. And the HBO website has terrible pics to choose from.


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from HBO

Carnivàle. Season One, Episode 1: Milfay

Supernatural elements. Exotic creatures. Creatures that look like humans. Humans that look like creatures. And a great opening credits sequence. This is enough for me to try out the next episode.


*some info from Wikipedia
pic from HBO

9

This is an animated film from Focus Features. And you can tell that it's not like the animated films from the bigwigs such as Pixar and DreamWorks Animation. It was less streamlined. If you know what I mean.

This is possibly the film with the shortest title I have ever encountered. Plus it's not even a Roman character.

Character designs were...plain. Ordinary. They look like stuffed old socks, you know.

The voice actors were good. But they were sometimes distracting. Especially Elijah Wood. He sounds like a girl.

Story was great. It kinda reminded me of The Matrix.

And contrary to popular belief, this is a Tim Burton production, not a Tim Burton film. Shane Acker directed this. It's his first film, and surprisingly shows a lot of promise.


*some info from IMDb
pic from eonline.com


9. USA. 2009.


Rating: Seven out of ten.

The Bounty Hunter

By The Negation
Sun, 8 Aug 2010, 20:00


Two words. Alpha Male.

These two words describe the UK novelty that is Gerard Butler. He is the modern day King Leonidas (who was an alpha male himself).

The plot's pretty predictable. Ex-wife who drove the ex-hubby crazy is now on the run because of felony and the ex-husband is out for revenge to get even with ex-wife and to collect bounty money. You know, that type of story.

Post-Brad Pitt Jennifer Aniston still seemed hot even in her 40's. And Mr. Butler? He is a prime alpha male specimen. I feel kinda puny and weak when I see this guy. The only bad thing is that Gerard still chose to take on a role with his thick English accent (or Scottish or Irish or whatever). Clearly shows his non-versatility. Though I give him kudos to the fact that he's tryin' his hand at comedy and pokin' a li'l fun at himself. That's the way to go, Gerard. Expand your horizons for more film offers!


Rating:6.5 out of 10. It's a sympathy vote because I love 300.


*photo from allmoviephoto.com

*****

By Sting Lacson


Friends, let's put our hands together and give a round of applause to Gerard Butler...for making an effort to lose his Scottish accent!

(pause for applause)

Okay, that's it. What? You want me to say something else about the film?

Hmm, let me think.

Well, Jennifer Aniston's cute. Well, she's hot with her mouth partially open, like that in the picture.

What's that? You want some more? Some more good stuff?

Okay, wait.

Okay, how about the part where the divorcees obviously still love each other, but pretend that they don't? And that scene where Jennifer Aniston still keeps their wedding picture in her wallet? I liked those scenes.

What? Still not good enough for you? Okay, let me think.

Um, how about Gerard Butler's obvious and praiseworthy effort to drop his Scottish accent and practice talking like a real Joe. How's that? Is that the kind of good stuff you're looking for? No?

Well, I give up.


*some info from IMDb
pic from screencrave.com


The Bounty Hunter. USA. 2010.


Rating: Five point eight out of ten.
Gerard Butler's effort to lose the accent: Nine out of ten.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief

That's a mouthful for a movie title that's not even a sequel. I didn't read the book so I wouldn't know if it's a faithful adaptation or not. I was excited to see this movie for the Greek Mythology element, nothing else.

Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief revolves around looking for The Almighty Zeus' (Sean Bean) lightning bolt, believed to be stolen by Percy (Logan Lerman), an ADHD and dyslexic teenager who is actually a demigod, the son of Poseidon. Percy was conceived at a time when hooking up with mortals was already a no-no for the gods (Bad Poseidon, bad! Hehe), thus making him Zeus' primary suspect (Oh, come on!). Now, Percy has two weeks to find the bolt─which everyone else thinks Hades (Steve Coogan) has─and return it to Zeus before he throws a tantrum and makes Earth his battleground.

Relative newcomers grace this big screen flick but familiar faces are also on board, only with too little screen time. Catherine Keener as Percy's mother is heart. Uma Thurman is perfect as the seductress snake-head Medusa. And Steve Coogan, well, I would have wanted to see more of the has-been-rockstar-slash-god-of-all-evil Hades. Even Pierce Brosnan didn't have much screen time to flaunt his "horse for an ass."

The Greek mythology's gods and goddesses in the modern world is a worthy premise for a film. Story and direction-wise, it's good, but things could be way, way better. And compared to other Harry Potter-wannabes that I have seen, I think Percy Jackson deserves another shot at the big screen.


Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief gets six out of ten, to serve as an inspiration for the people behind this movie to do better.


*photo from allmoviephoto.com

Couples Retreat

Another one of them senseless Vince Vaughn comedies. Funny at times. But not all the time.

Plot goes like this: Couples go on a retreat just for the vacation, thinking there is nothing wrong with them. But there is. And in the end, problem solved.

And they had to stretch that to standard cinema length.

Jon Favreau was hilarious here, by the way. Hard to imagine him directing Iron Man. Jean Reno was great, too. It's refreshing to see him in comic roles. And Jason Bateman is always welcome.

Oh, and let me add that I had to google the gong-ringer before I found out that he's Star Wars' Jango Fett.

Girls' reason to watch this: Abs. From that funny yoga instructor with the huge bulge.

Guys' reason to watch this: Malin Åkerman, and Kristen Bell.


*some info from IMDb
pic from allmoviephoto.com


Couples Retreat. USA. 2009 (2010 Philippines).


Rating: Five point seven out of ten.

Coco avant Chanel

Before this film, Coco Chanel was just a name to me. At least after this film, she finally had a face.

But still, I cannot call this film good. The title says it all. This should chronicle the rise of Mademoiselle Gabrielle Chanel to the heights of the fashion world. And I thought the story of her life would be interesting. Well, it wasn't. Or maybe it's the filmmaker's fault for not making it interesting enough. Whatever. All it showed were her affairs and love interests. Boring.

All I can say is that the costume designs were excellent. And that Audrey Tautou is really beautiful. Yet she seems to have only one style of acting. But that is forgivable, simply because she is beautiful.


*some info from IMDb
pic from daemonsmovies.com


Coco avant Chanel. France. 2009.


Original Rating: Two out of ten.
Costume design: Plus one point nine.
Audrey Tautou: Plus two.
Final Rating: Five point nine out of ten.

Green Zone

Is it just me, or does Matt Damon always get the action-suspense roles? Although he doesn't do any of his Jason-Bourne-secret-agent-bone-breaking-super moves, the overall feel of this movie is the same as his spy thrillers, despite being a war film. Must be the adrenaline.

But come to think of it, I don't think this is a war film. It's more of a conspiracy theory set in Iraq. None of that Band of Brothers camaraderie here. At least The Hurt Locker had a semblance of army life. This film just used the army as a backdrop. It's more of a detective whodunit flick. But I'm not saying it didn't work. It did. It was engrossing.

Matt Damon may be too pop, but he's a good actor.

Brendan Gleeson may be too common, but he's a good actor as well.

Greg Kinnear may be too comedic, but he's surprisingly dramatic here.

Director Paul Greengrass may be a relative unknown (at least to me), but he does a good job here. All the hand-held shots make it feel like a genuine documentary of a war zone.

By the way, don't let the title deceive you. There is nothing environmental about this movie. At all. The Green Zone refers to that part of Iraq under Coalition Provisional Authority. So don't expect any climate change topics, as this film was set in 2003.


*some info from IMDb and Wikipedia
pic from altfg.com


Green Zone. France/USA/Spain/UK. 2010.


Rating: Seven and a half out of ten.

The Vampire Diaries. Season 1, Episode 20: Blood Brothers

Soap opera at its finest! Vampire mix always make it spicy. Last episode, they did a Buffy Season 2 scene. This one, I swear they copied off an episode from Buffy Season 3. Stefan's suicide speech is too much like Angel's. But this surprisingly doesn't annoy me. Maybe because they finally revealed a few secrets and OHMYGAWD JEREMY... JEREMY'S body... making me go all caps... and ellipses... I think I'm going for Jeremy/Anna now, not Damon/Elena. Although Damon/Alaric seems yummy too. The Vampire Diaries gets funnier each episode too.

Paranormal Activity

Girl haunted by a demonic something since she was young and now has followed her in her new house with her macho shit boyfriend. The boyfriend keeps on playing with his video camera and saying stuff like "Nobody messes with my girlfriend" and "Fuck you demon thing." This leads to more bad things for the girl. The basic problem of the movie is not really the haunting, but the girl picking an asshole for a boyfriend. Also, the impromptu lines were really, really horrible.

It's The Exorcist meets The Blair Witch Project, except less scary and less dizzying.

I got to watch two of the three endings. Both of which were really pathetic. Not that it didn't hold promise, it was just really something that'd make me go, "That's all there is? I've watched her boyfriend be an idiot for more than an hour and this is how the demon ends it?"

5/10

Glee. Season 1, Episode 15: The Power of Madonna

source: http://gleeks.tumblr.com

The problem with Glee, its attempt at political correctness or sarcastic/satire criticism just... fails. Feminism isn't just some fancy talk and Madonna references, Mr. Writer. However, I did like the overlapping scenes in "Like a Virgin" and Sue Sylvester singing while wearing a hyperfeminine bra.

The Pacific. Part Three

One word: BORING. That's all caps. Sure, there was sex. But seriously, I didn't watch this series to see soldiers on R & R. Check out the pic. Does that look like World War II to you? I watched this for my daily dose of World War II action. And this episode has none. The only action I saw were the pumping scenes in bed. Boo.


*pic from HBO

The Losers

A good action movie. But not great. Just good. Somehow everything after Kick-Ass is only good.

Now am I the only one who thinks that Jeffrey Dean Morgan looks like a stockier Robert Downey, Jr.? But of course RDJ is a better actor, no question.

Zoe Saldana, you almost exposed your breasts. Almost. Well, you could've at least shown some side boob.

Surprisingly, they didn't play the race card for comic relief. It was white boy Chris Evans who stole the show. I actually LSS'd on "Don't Stop Believing." I don't know though if it was Arnel Pineda's version.

Sad to sy that the coolest character here, the Mexixcan sniper Cougar (not the hot old lady-cougar) had the fewest lines. I'm not sure though if he was Mexican, or whatever Latin American nationality. Either way, he didn't talk much.

And finally, Jason Patric was pure evil. Delightfully evil. Not as despicable as Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds, but a delight nonetheless. And his sidekick Wade looks like a Daniel Craig stunt double.

By the way, this is another flick based on a comic book. Sad, really, as the last original franchise I liked was The Matrix trilogy. There should be a movement on more original screenplays. And I shall spearhead that movement. If only I were in Hollywood.


*some info from IMDb
pic from clarkiep.wordpress.com


The Losers. USA. 2010.


Rating: Seven point one out of ten.

Glee. Season 1, Episode 14: Hell-O

source: http://gleeks.tumblr.com

Two words─Idina Menzel. I don't care how awful its story gets (even though they're trying to be more, um, complex) from this point on as long as I see more of Idina.

Iron Man 2

I want Terence Howard.

Not "want" in a sexual way. "Want" like I-think-Terence-Howard-would-be-better-than-Don-Cheadle way.

Not that I have anything against Don Cheadle. He's a great actor. But I just have problems with continuity. I really can't stand it when film franchises change actors midstream. I can only forgive actor changes when the cause of change was death. Like what they did with Professor Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, or the Oracle in The Matrix Revolutions.

Anyway, the story was...bleh. I was expecting something flashier. I mean, it's Iron Man, come on. He's like the coolest non-superpower super hero since Batman. And yet, this film seemed to be wanting in action sequences. Not a great way to start the Hollywood summer line-up.

So since I can't find anything to nitpick story-wise, I'll just pick on the actors.

Robert Downey, Jr.: In the words of the great Stan Lee, "'Nuff said." Robert Downey, Jr. equals Iron Man. Period.

Don Cheadle: Sorry, but I still want Terrence Howard.

Gwyneth Paltrow: I sincerely believe she genuinely enjoys playing Pepper Potts. Maybe she gets a real kick out of it. Who knows.

Scarlett Johansson: Yum. Okay, let me say that again. YUM.

Samuel L. Jackson: How many movies does he plan to make before he retires? Does he plan to surpass Christopher Lee's record? I hope not.

Sam Rockwell: I was genuinely entertained by Mr. Rockwell's performance. Bravo.

Mickey Rourke: I salute Mr. Rourke for the effort he put into this role. His Russian accent is more than an accent, as he has even captured the grammatical errors. Good job, Mr. Rourke.

Jon Favreau: I would've normally criticized him for having a small role in his own movie. But of course, directors are gods, and they can do whatever they want. And he was funny, by the way. So he is hereby forgiven.

So again, special effects are top-notch. But the story was so-so. But watch it, anyway, especially if you loved Iron Man, the first film.

And I still want Terrence Howard.


*some info from IMDb
pic from newsoftheworld.co.uk


Iron Man 2. USA. 2010.


Original Rating: Seven out of ten.
Using Don Cheadle instead of Terrence Howard: Two out of ten.

The Vampire Diaries. Season 1, Episode 19: Miss Mystic Falls

This new angle to the plot is not pretty. Everyone fighting over some Holy Grail Anonymous? Um, that's not classic at all. That's just a bad cliché. Also, how Jeremy is taking all the revealed secrets in good stride? Totally lame. But I trust the writers as they've been very consistent for most of the season so this is probably just one of their flukes. Bad things aside, this episode totally sealed me as a Damon/Elena shipper. I love how by the nearing end, Damon gets to be the good vampire brother.