Goya's Ghosts

Dear Viewer,


For those who don't know who I am, I have two Oscars for Best Director, for the films One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Amadeus. Still don't know who I am? Google me.

Anyway, the costumes in this movie are as rich as that in Amadeus. That's because I love period films, but I hate letting actors speak in foreign tongues.

I definitely want Javier Bardem in this picture. Well first I wanted Jeffrey Dean Morgan, but due to scheduling conflicts, have decided to settle for Señor Bardem, because they look alike anyway. Plus, Javier Bardem's creepy voice is the best thing in the movie.

I also want someone big to play Goya. "Big" as in a big, A-lister famous name. But no one seems to be interested in playing a painter who turns deaf later on, and who has no kissing or sex scene. So I settled for "big" like towering height. That's why I got Stellan Skarsgård instead. But I would've avoided him if I can, because I have a really difficult time typing that special character in his name.

I also loved how I got to make the beautiful Natalie Portman look hideous. I mean, I fantasize having sex with Natalie Portman a lot. But ever since I saw how ugly she could become, I lost all libido. Bad for me. Good for my wife.

Also, hooray for Dennis Quaid. I mean Randy Quaid. He's funny as hell.

That's it. I didn't really say anything worthwhile. I apologize, and I leave you to whatever it is you're up to.


Sincerely,

Milos Forman (not my real name)


*some info from IMDb
pic from allmoviephoto.com


Goya's Ghosts. USA/Spain. 2006.


Rating: Six out of ten.