Temptation Island (2011)

This was a remake from a 1980 cult classic, which was originally a Fox TV series (thanks Google!). I believe I wasn't one of the cult though.

T.I. fans, headed by their cult leader.

I didn't even know who the actresses were in the original.

I was thinkin' that she might be one of 'em, but she ain't.

This flick was just total nonsense. The plot just revolved around a bunch of people gettin' stuck on a desert island (in Pagudpod?), starving, hallucinating, and havin' sex. There was even this editing glitch wherein the Manila Sunshine (a shampoo brand or sunblock, whatever...) Model Search promoter or somethin' (an elderly lady in the film named Mrs. Syjuco, who I believe was one of the original cast) went up to the catwalk to do some announcements. Then the next shot showed her once again seated beside the catwalk. Now WTF GMA editing crew?! You guys can do better than that!

My favorite actress was of course, Ruffa Mae Quinto. She was the comic relief and brought life to an otherwise dull remake.

Without her, this film's a bust.

Marian isn't just a pretty face. I didn't know she could be wacky, too, which is absolutely a turn-on for men like me. Her actions could be extremely unrefined, not suitable for a woman with her looks. But she's able to pull it off! I'm not turned on by her palengkera voice though. Like an elderly woman shouting out stuff that she sells.

Like Echo, Marian was also originally discovered in the marketplace.

Solenn is a traitor. I didn't have the hots for her, at all! But as the movie went along, she seemed to transform into something like a gummy bear, somethin' yummy, or something of that sort.

Solenn is actually part Hebrew, and could trace her roots back to Judas Iscariot himself.

Heart Evangelista shouldn't be in the roster at all. She ain't sexy. And Lovi Poe? I can't say anything because there's really nothin'. They could've just swapped someone like Rhiann Ramos and some other Star Struck chick in their places.

There you go.

This movie really wasn't anything except for a few laughs. 4/10 for me.




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