Transformers: Dark of The Moon

Before you watch─or if you've watched it already─before you give praise or slam Transformers: Dark of the Moon, consider the following points first:

Shut it first and read.

The movie is about the Transformers, as the title implies, referring to the Autobots and Decepticons. It's not a movie about Sam Witwicky or Sam and Bumblebee. It's also not about the love story of Sam and Carly. Please stop fussing about the lack of human character development. It is supposed to be about them steel cars that transform into robots and whatever technology from their home planet Cybertron that makes them seem alive. Humans take a back seat, and let them hoard the spotlight.

Size matters in this movie. Deal with it.

It's the third installment of the series. A lot of critics have said that the more sequels a franchise produces, the worse it becomes. So don't complain too much after watching the film; you have been warned. Also, you're likely to see all the semi-significant characters of the franchise even for just a few minutes and even if the plot can do without them. You'll still likely watch the fourth installment, if ever there would be one—yes, even if it seems impossible for the dead to come to life again. But let's hope they stay dead this time.

When he grows up to be him, that's the fourth sequel.

It's a special effects-bombarded blockbuster movie about cars that transform into robots. Expect a hot woman character in the film. More than 90 percent of the film's target audience is male (I was the only girl waiting in line for tickets). In this genre, women could be reduced to lips─er, um─sugar, spice and everything nice. That, or a pseudo-strong feisty one who just sits through the action. Testosterone levels soar, but there's a need for a lady to save or a lady to bend a knee in admiration.

How come I didn't see you actually drive this sweet car? Boo.

It's a movie directed by Michael Bay. Hence, all logic should be suspended unless proven otherwise. Bay is an accomplished blockbuster film director who delivered some of the best kick-ass, eardrum-damaging, and fucking-shit-"Whoa!" stunts, explosions, and effects on the big screen. But he's not very tight-knit on story lines. So if you feel like blurting, "What the?" "Where did that come from?" "I thought blah-blah-blah," your argument is invalid. Watch the movie again and try to analyze it if you wish to kill time, or get a headache.

The Terminator meets the thing Neo of The Matrix was at war with.

Um, I'm pretty sure you catch my drift already.

All that said, I think the third installment has the most promising story line. Transformers: Dark of the Moon was more thought of and has more heart not just from the human factor but from the Transformers themselves, even though some of them are still more annoying than cute. Also, Mr. Spock held his own alongside Mr. Cullen—Peter Cullen, that is (and a different kind of shimmering steel).

The number of Star Trek puns in this movie equals Leonard Nimoy.

For how little parts the humans played: I don't think it was established how serious Sam (Shia LaBeouf) and Carly (Rosie Huntington-Whitey) are or how good their chemistry is. Lebeuof is still himself. But I have to give credit for his eyes conveying more of his character's emotions than his mouth. Honestly, he just mainly rattles his lines and shouts. Huntington-Whitely, on the other hand, put to good use her Victoria's Secret Angel-ness and her accent, but nothing more. (Megan Fox kicked more ass. I guess they went for a Cinderella-in-distress female lead this time rather than a Lara Croft incarnate). Frances McDormand and John Turturro are a nice relief at the sidelines. I'll forgive Tyrese Gibson and Josh Duhamel's diminished screen time. It's really hard to hate Patrick "McDreamy" Dempsey. I like Former Agent Simmon's all-around sidekick Dutch (Alan Tudyk, A Knight's Tale) more than John Malkovich's, um... what's his role really?

Little roles. Little time. Big double yum yum.

The special effects are clearly an up credit, though it wouldn't have hurt if they paid more attention to JFK and Nixon's look-a-likes; the whole movie is practically filled with special effects anyway. But I still don't get how the Transformers look polished and painted steel in car form only to transform into rusty-looking robots. Or that Carly's white top always looks clean and white amidst a world of gray and black. Or how humans are could be completely obliterated except for their skulls. Or how... okay, nevermind.

She's easier to spot and save or sweep off her feet.

Transformers: Dark of The Moon gets a six out of ten, for giving the the franchise a reason to keep its chin leveled after its predecessor buried it in deep shit.



*photos from screencaps of the trailer, daemonsmovies, static.tvguide.com, collider.com, and onlinemovieshut.com



You may also want to check out Sting Lacson's review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. Or you could read the reviews of Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. Or you could read the review of the 1986 animated film.