Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

For this review, Da Couch Tomato was fortunate enough to interview the director and a few cast members of the Sherlock Holmes sequel, A Game of Shadows. Here is a transcript of that interview.


**NOTE: Not really an interview**


DCT: First off, congratulations, Mr. Guy Ritchie, on a nice film.

GUY RITCHIE: Nice?

DCT: Yeah, a nice film.

RITCHIE: That's all you have to say? "Nice"? Not great, or awesome?

DCT: Well, I just saw the second episode of BBC's Sherlock season 2. Now that was awesome. This was just... nice.

(Guy Ritchie gets up and leaves)

ROBERT DOWNEY, JR: Well now, you pissed him off.

DCT: Apparently he hates the BBC version. Too bad. I wanted to ask him about his choice of casting Jared Harris as Professor Moriarty.

"Problem?"

JUDE LAW: Okay, if we are to continue this interview, can you please not mention the BBC's Sherlock?

DCT: Only if I get to kiss Kelly Reilly.

KELLY REILLY: What?

DCT: Just one kiss. On the lips.

RDJ: Come on, Kelly. Just one. Guy’s not here, anyway.

REILLY: Well…

STEPHEN FRY: Oh for God’s sake, Kelly, just get it over and done with!

(Kelly Reilly and I kiss on the lips for five seconds. Ms. Reilly pulls away after I attempt some tongue on the fourth second.)

"Wait, he didn't use any tongue, did he?"

REILLY: There. Can we get on with the interview now?

DCT: We most certainly can. Okay, Mr. Downey. Ever received crap about how an American shouldn’t play a British icon?

RDJ: See, that’s one of the things I really hate. Why are Brits allowed to play American roles, but Americans aren’t allowed to play British roles? That’s stereotyping right there. There are lots of great actors in Hollywood who can do a decent British accent.

DCT: Really? Name one. Apart from yourself.

RDJ: There’s… uh… there’s… well I can’t think of anyone right now. But it’ll come to me later.

DCT: All right, I’ll get back to you on that. Now let’s go to you, Jude. What can you say about internet trolls who keep comparing your Dr. Watson performance to Martin Freeman’s Watson?

LAW: Sherlock again? Didn’t I tell you not to mention it?

DCT: I didn’t mention  Sherlock . I mentioned Martin Freeman.

LAW: Well, can you please not mention anything related to BBC’s Sherlock?

DCT: Well… um… not even Benedict Cumberbatch’s cheekbones?

LAW: I said anything related to Sherlock.

DCT: Okay. As long as I get to kiss Rachel McAdams.

RACHEL McADAMS: What?

DCT: Come on, just one kiss. With tongue.

McADAMS: Oh come on!

REILLY: Do it, Rachel. I did it earlier.

McADAMS: Fine!

(Rachel McAdams and I kiss on the lips for five seconds. With tongue. She pulls away after my hand finds its way to her breast on the fourth second.)

"Wait, he didn't touch your breasts, did he?"

DCT: All right, let’s move on. Mr. Stephen Fry, why did you choose to portray Mycroft Holmes as such?

FRY: As what?

DCT: As a somewhat comic person. In the books, Mycroft Holmes is kind of a serious person. Don’t you think you might have made him too much of a comedian?

FRY: I fail to see any flaws with my performance of Mycroft Holmes. The books say he was a huge man, a little bit fat, and a genius. I fit the role perfectly.

"One crack about the broken nose, and I'll break yours."

DCT: Yes, but you sort of became the comic relief for this film now, didn’t you?

FRY: Every film needs a comic relief character, and I don’t think any of the other cast members are up to the task.

DCT: Okay, we’re almost out of time here, so let me just ask one last question to our newcomer, Ms. Noomi Rapace.

NOOMI RAPACE: I’m not a newcomer. I’m a big star in Sweden.

DCT: Yeah, right. You indulge in rap music, is that correct?

RAPACE: Yes yes yo. Ayt.

DCT: Lovely. May I see your tattoo?

RAPACE: What?

DCT: Tattoo. Your dragon tattoo.

RAPACE: That’s it, I’m out of here.

(Ms. Rapace gets up and leaves, and the other cast members follow suit, leaving me all alone to savor my kisses with Kelly Reilly and Rachel McAdams.)

"Wait, he didn't attempt anything, did he?"

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. USA. 2011



Rating: Seven point eight out of ten.




*some info from IMDb
pics from All Movie Photo