The Walking Dead Season 1 Review, or Look Ma, I'm a Zombie!

VLC

There are already quite a lot of zombie films out there, and I think the zombie/undead phenomenon already has its own mythology (yet according to spell check, "undead" is not a word). True, the mythologies for vampires and werewolves are quite numerous, and also conflicting. The zombie mythology, however, seems pretty solid.

Here are some basic zombie facts:

1. Zombies are not alive.
2. A bite from a zombie will turn you into a zombie.
3. Most zombies move rather slow, but a lot of them can outrun you.
4. Zombies cannot be defeated by plants.

Pop Cap

It's just a game, people. It's not real.

Anyway, let's check out the entire first season of The Walking Dead.

1. "Days Gone By"

VLC

Now that's how a zombie looks like.

Ghost town─check. Zombie outbreak─check. Gross animatronics─check. Morality issues─check. But what's worse than an infestation of zombies? It's finding out that your best friend's been banging your wife.


2. "Guts"

VLC

Humans covered in zombie blood. Either really smart, or really stupid.

The wife being banged by the best friend (Jon Bernthal) looks familiar. Oh, wait, I recognize her now. She's the doctor from Prison Break (Sarah Wayne Callies). I want to find out exactly how long the Asian guy will last. I want to see if race no longer matters in the event of a zombie apocalypse. The Walkers don't differentiate between skin color, right?


3. "Tell It to the Frogs"

VLC

Yum. Or yuck.

Ooh, tough luck, Shane. Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) is back. No more fuck-the-wife-behind-the-best-friend's-back for you. Too bad. Also, remember the racist guy in the previous episode? He's got a brother. Who also has a racist mouth. In the meantime, while Rick Grimes et al. head back to retrieve the lost bag of firearms, Shane tries to win the affections of the Grimes boy with frogs. Creep.


4. "Vatos"

VLC

Blacks and Latinos look the same under a sniper scope.

Grimes et al. try to go back to the rooftop where they handcuffed Mr. Racist from episode 2, but all they find is a severed hand. So I'm assuming the guy will just jump out of nowhere in the succeeding episodes. Meanwhile, Glenn the Asian kid (Steven Yeun) gets captured by a Latino gang led by the convict from Suits. But I thought he was black? And finally, zombie shootout!


5. "Wildfire"

VLC

"Attention: all stragglers will be left behind."

After much drama about ethics and having your loved ones turn into zombies, the entire pack decides to move camp. And with their li'l ol' convoy, they roll into the city and head for the CDC─the Center for Disease Control. And what do they find there? Stay tuned 'till next episode.


6. "TS-19"

VLC

How a zombie's brain looks like.

We start with a flashback, when Rick Grimes was on a hospital bed. So Shane did try to save him. But he still fucked Mrs. Grimes. So he's still a douche. Want to know who else is a douche? Dr. Jenner (Noah Emmerich), who was also in The Truman Show and Super 8. But everyone's stay at the CDC is cut short, when it blows up. Seriously. So what happens in season 2? I don't know. And I don't think I'd stick around to find out.


Come to think of it, if you take out the zombies from this show, it becomes a serious drama. Sort of the same drama as Lord of the Flies, you know, like a free-for-all survival drama. But no one wants to watch that. People want to watch zombies. So unless this show can make me scream in fright in season 2, I don't think I'll be watching this anymore.



The Walking Dead. USA. 2010.



Rating: Six point three out of ten.