The Expendables 2

I was waiting for Bruce Lee to suddenly show up, but I just remembered that he was dead. Sorry.

No Bruce Lee, no Expendables

Instead, we were handed old (and probably worn-out) versions of Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Which is not that bad, considering that JCVD was still ripped as hell, and Chuck Norris still looks kinda like Chuck from Way Of The Dragon.

Without the chest hair, of course.

I still am thinking why they didn't let Chuck Norris play himself in this flick. It could've gotten much more interesting.

As for JCVD, kudos to you! It's about time that you played the villain. And he really nailed the part. Even the accent of a terrorist? He's gotten that down to a tee.

Or maybe he's just Belgian.

Jet Li shoul've gotten more air time because he literally is the slickest fighter amongst the Expendables cast. He's also the most famous!

That's if you count the Chinese audience.

So, did the producers just not have enough money to pay the guy for the whole flick? Or did the scriptwriters just run out of shit to tell? Or both?

Stallone did a wonderful job assembling this ragtag bunch of washed out 80s action stars. I was giggling like a li'l girl when I saw Dolph Lundgren, Sly, The Terminator, and John McClane all pumping slugs. The ticket money was well worth it.

Though Mr. Drago could've
packed in more punches.

Jason Statham was holding his own against these giants. His British accent still looked tough amongst the other voices.

Especially Stallone's old man, croaky voice.

Terry Crews was there to augment the comic relief this action porn flick had. The other action stars were delivering their punchlines once in a while. But Crews was there to add to the chaos.

Anybody whose role is just to add
to the chaos is a Godsend in our book.

As for Randy Couture, he looks like a weak-ass sidekick to Terry. Every time Terry delivers his laughlines, Randy always talks as if he's trying to top the previous joke! And they really look like partners. You know, as soon as Terry says something, so does Randy.

"I can hold my own, Randy, no need for your old ass."

Liam Hemsworth initially tricked me. I was thinking that he was Chris Hemsworth utilizing his babyface in this movie or something. Turned out that Liam is Chris' younger sibling! Yeah, I know you're an A-Lister's younger bro and have starred in big production flicks like The Hunger Games. But you're not action-jackson enough!

As for the Asian chick, just looks like a fattened and taller Zhang Zi-Yi. Nothing new with that I guess.

All in all, this flick deserves a 7.5 outta 10.





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